SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

You both need to read; NOT JUST FRIENDS by shirley glass.

It sets a firm factual basis to discuss the negative impact of his friendship on your relationship. It pretty much discredits the "we're just friends" justification.

His late responses and change in his position with respect to moving makes me suspect he's discussing your relationship with someone else (i.e., the OW).

I suggest you ask direct questions and set forth your expectations from him from now on and don't assume anything about your relationship.

Did you ask him if he's recently discussed your relationship or plans to relocate with the OW (or anyone else)?

If you want the answer as to whether the affair is over, consider hiring a PI. It won't take long...just observing where/who he has lunch or supper with.

I can't help but feel some level of guilt for the way I previously handled this (getting angry or feeling depressed and pulling away) and part of me thinks that if I'd done things differently in the beginning of finding out that he would be more willing to work with me now.

Sky honey this is broken and very CoDependent thinking.

You cannot fix him, you cannot fix your relationship alone. You are not responsible for his actions, and lack of appropriate actions to be a good partner.

PLEASE get yourself into IC, you need to figure this out now before you end up married, with kids, and mess up more than your own life.

If you don't do IC, please get CoDependent No More by Beattie.

He is still in contact with this woman. I can bet on that. He is letting your own guilt make it easy on him to have you and another girlfriend. This ends when you say it does.

Sky sorry to hear this has happened to you.

Dating is a trial period to see if two people can make a relationship work. To see how each of you react/respond in different life situations. Are you supportive of each other, do you share the same morals, can you trust each other, do you bring out the best in each other, do you have each other's back, are you supportive of each other, are you supportive of each other's dreams/goals, etc etc.

Sorry to say this but your boyfriend has FLUNKED this test. Truth and faithfulness are the foundation of any relationship that wants to stand the test of time.

He's shown that he's a liar and a cheat.

You have no kids.

TRUST me sky things only get more difficult when you get married and bring children into the picture.

Your boyfriend has shown you who he is. BELIEVE HIM!!

Cut bait and move on. Not saying it's easy to do this but in my opinion you will never regret doing this.

Hang in there!!

Difficult situation. Just when you think everything is a certain way, something can suddenly change and you're left scratching your head...

Personally I don't see how he cheated. However, he is manipulative, lies, is selfish, and has no intentions of moving with you when you move. This relationship is a complete dead end just for that last issue alone. But lying and manipulating, blehggg. Cut your ties to him and start making plans to move as soon as it is reasonable. Wish him well and move forward with your life. He definitely isn't permanent relationship material.

[This message edited by StillLivin at 9:24 PM, October 1st (Monday)]